Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
