i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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