This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
