Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
