What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
