I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
