beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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