who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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