His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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