it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Randomize
