i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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