If that was your dad, he is hot
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
