I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
