I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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