yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
