Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm at about main and main street
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
