we're chasing vodka with high fives
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
