were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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