I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
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