just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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