Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Randomize
