I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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