I wannas sexs uuuuu
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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