Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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