It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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