I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm too high and old for this...
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
