he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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