We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
