I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
i need to put some appletini on your dick
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
