I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
