you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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