Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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