Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
May the power of my ass compel you!!
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
