Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
