And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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