6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
