did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
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