3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
