at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
