how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
