"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
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