I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Sorry about my life...
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
