Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
