Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
