I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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