thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Randomize
