A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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