This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
