So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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