He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
