All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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